go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
