I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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