I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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