Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
