my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
