Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have grass duct taped all over my body
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
