Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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