At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
