He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
