too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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