umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
