Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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