My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize