Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
