HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just high enough for therapy.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I currently don't understand fingers.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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