my vag is so smooth its legendary
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize