you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
