You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
