ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
