U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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