Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
