i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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