Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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