Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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