If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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