Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
