Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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