There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
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It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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