so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
