have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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