Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize