:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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