I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
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