i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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