I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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