There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im just a social blackout drinker.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
