Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
