What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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