Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
