so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
