i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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