are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize