So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
