don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize