Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize