what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
