that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize