Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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