So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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