I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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