that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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