I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
