i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
