can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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