I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
