I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
