doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i think my tv is drunk
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
