super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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