Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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