Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
