the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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