never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize