so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
