Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
