i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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