you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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